Making the decision to purposely be apart from someone you love for any length of time is difficult. I think, in most cases, we have a tendency to over think or under think the consequences of being apart. If we over think these decisions we most likely won't go through with them. If we under think them then we don't actually grasp the gravity of the decision or it's effect on everyone involved. So it was after many lengthy conversations involving many tears and with a feeling of adventure that Christine and I parted ways in Amsterdam. She headed to Frankfurt and then eventually to Heidelberg, Germany and I boarded a tiny airplane that was destined for the little airport in Bordeaux, France. Now, just in case you don't know where either Bordeaux or Heidelberg is on a map I suggest you either look it up or ask Jeremy Kroeker our trusted geographical specialist.
Anyways, the first few days were, at best, terrible. My room in the university residence was pink (not that there is anything wrong with that) and it was a fixer up'er to put it lightly. It took almost a week before Christine and I connected again. Soon there after, it became routine that we would talk at least two or three times a week. Most often I would crouch inside the phone booth, called "cabine" in French, for hours at a time. I crouched because standing became painful after an hour or so. My fellow Winnipegers would look down from their windows and shake their heads saying that eventually they would buy me a chair.
We saw each other again after about a month. On a spur of the moment we decided to meet in Paris because it was a good middle point for the both of us. The best thing about being apart is being together again. The worst thing about being together again was knowing that you will be apart again. And so it went the entire year. In November I suprised Christine by waiting at the train station for an entire day (no, that's not an exageration. I literally waited from 5:30 am to shortly after 6 pm.) In December we spent Christmas together and then went to Switzerland for New Year's. In January we went to Ireland and in March we went to Madrid, Spain. In between Christine visited me a few times in Bordeaux, some planned, some not, and therefore we saw each other at least once a month. Finally, in April, I moved to Heidelberg to be with Christine and to study German. Little did Christine know that I was bringing an extra special present direct from Canada. Now, the decision to propose was not taken lightly. I have had a tendency thoughout my life to over-analyze things. Just when I think I have made my decision I find a clever way of talking myself out of it. It was therefore good that my best friend, who actually brought the ring from Canada, asked me every question he could think of. He wanted to ensure that I was doing this for all the right reasons. Despite not spending alot of time together over the last few years I have continued to value his opinion and friendship. There are certains friends in life that, even though one doesn't see them as often, they remain close.
During the year I also spent alot of time reflecting on my relationship with Christine. I am a firm believer that being apart is one of the best indications as to whether or not you will function well as a couple not only now but in the future. As the old cliché goes, if you are meant to be together... It is with this thought that I came into the year and with this thought that I made my decision. Originally, we were each going to get an engagement ring but my love for the look of suprise got the better of me. Since Christine and I had discussed getting married prior to the purchase of the ring I knew the answer before I even asked. It would have been terribly awkward had she said no and I probably would have had to spend the rest of my life in the arctic building ice castles for the wealthy to avoid the embarassment, but of course she said yes. (For the full story see the post with the engagement ring.)
In any case, I came back to Winnipeg in July and once again we did the distance thing. Christine remained in Germany for five more weeks while she finished up the school year and I, once again, joined the working world. I went through your usual culture shock (i.e. not as many well dressed people, english and varieties of it being spoken everywhere, the sadness of streets that weren't cobblestone) and with my new ability to speak 3 languages, felt a little odd working in retail once again. Anyways, the five weeks dragged on like a hot summer night where all you want to do is rest. For some odd reason the last month proved to be the hardest. The end is in sight but just out of reach. Then, despite all of that missing and worrying and sadness, it's over. You're together as if no time had passed. It's alot like Christmas in some respects. You spend so much time waiting for this one day and then magically...it comes, then goes.
Being apart is, well, hard. But the reward in the end of a stronger, deeper relationship makes the days seem like hours and the hours like minutes. The experiences had and lessons learned enrich your lives not only independantly but together as well. To be a strong couple you need to be a strong individual first. You need to search, grow, cry, laugh and long. The decision to be apart now, we both knew, was a personal investment in our future. You can never see the end from the beginning but you always will end up exactly where you are supposed to be.
Don't ask. I have no idea.
Hillary owns this Monopoly game!
Andrea telling a story to a captive audience :)
Sommerkinder
8 years ago
